Friday, April 15, 2011

In Which I Go Shopping for a New Swimsuit

You may remember that I was in a bit of a funk at the end of last week - ate too much food and had uneven amounts of exercise during the week.

I then made the (snort) wise decision to go shopping for a new swim suit on Saturday evening. That one did a number on my self-esteem, let me tell you.

Yes, I KNOW that swim suit shopping is a chore dreaded by many at the best of times. Believe me, I would have put if off if I could, but my old suit has completely worn out and isn't fit to be worn in public any more. It was time.

So - already in a funk, I found myself in a changeroom trying on suits. And found myself really unhappy with what I was seeing in the mirror. At that moment, I didn't see someone who has lost eighty pounds (and fifty-two inches), and who was trying on a suit many sizes smaller than in the recent past.

I certainly didn't see a woman who has shaved 14 minutes off her 5K time in under 18 months, or a woman who has climbed the CN Tower (it's the tallest in the world, folks!) and is about to do it again.

I saw a women with almost forty pounds to lose. A woman with thick legs, flabby thighs, a spare tire and waddly arms.

It made me mad. Mad that I have been making food choices that are making this a long and slow journey. Mad that losing weight is such a full-time job. Mad that I generally get some form of exercise almost every day and yet any muscle definition is still hidden under a layer of fat.

But you know what?

Even though I was upset, I didn't raid the treat displays at the checkout.

Not because I had made any kind of changeroom pledge to make the suit look better before beach season (although yes, I did make just such a pledge). More because at that moment, I wasn't looking for treats to make me feel better. Stress eating has been a constant theme in my life and something I continue to struggle with - so this was one very major victory for me.

And that made me happy.

And then I remembered that I can see my collarbones these days. And my shinbones. And the slight cleft in my chin. And the metacarpals in the back of my hands. All of which I had forgotten about for years until they reappeared, one by one, over the last year. And so I went to bed feeling even more happy.

I woke up the next morning feeling like it was any other day - and realized that I'd gotten a ton of exercise the day before but wasn't feeling sore. I was feeling strong.

And that made me REALLY happy.

My head's on straight again now. Hope yours is too.

Here's this week's recap -  

Saturday - Absolutely stunningly beautiful day! Rode my bike to Curves and back (6K round trip), worked out + 40 pushups. Later in the day - swept the patio, set up the patio furniture and CLEANED THE GARAGE. Properly, too! Followed by the above soul-crushing shopping trip.

Check out my bike riding daughter!

Sunday - Cleaned the basement family room - organized toys, pulled out furniture, vacuumed everything. Went to the park with my family after dinner (1.2K round trip) and did an easy 8K on the track on my bike. Realized that 25K is pretty far, so I'd better get cracking on training for the June ride. Also realized that 6 months ago, I struggled to ride 5K on this track. Another "non-scale" victory!

Bonus: My son rode 10K, and my daughter - a very new rider - did over 2K. WAY TO GO FAMILY!!!

Monday - Stairs to 12 + 7 at lunch, wiffle ball with the kids after school, Curves after dinner.

Tuesday - Stairs to 12 + 7 at lunch.

Wednesday - Rest day.

Another mom/daughter moment: cooling down after Zumba!
Thanks to Denni for taking our pic!
Thursday - Went Zumba after dinner and brought my daughter along. I've said it before: I love this workout! Also did 40 pushups.


What I'm reading this week: Mockingjay, the last in the Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins. These were recommended by my son - they're young adult/teen fiction but every engaging for adults too. Hard to put them down, and my husband is equally hooked.

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